Day 24 - Graduation this Saturday

After I made that pack with myself, I failed to do it this week. I feel a little pissed but it's fine. I need to start going three times a week next week. That's my goal right now. But until then, I'm not gonna give up this week yet. I finally went to the gym yesterday, and it was tough. I only stopped for 3 days then I gain like 1/2 pound of weight. Then my heart beat goes back to the non-working out rate. It's terrible. And I feel light-headed. It's not healty, man. I feel like I've been working out as much as I can and I should be physically fit a bit. But my heart rate is still very high and I don't feel like I have more strength or anything. It's frustrating. I just hope that I can keep doing it 3 times a week instead of 2.

On the other hand, it's hard for me to eat less. And I realized that my calculating of calories are off quite a bit. So when I think I'm eating 2300 to 2500 a day, I might actually be eating 2700-3000 a day. It's crazy. It doesn't seem a lot of food. So sometimes I'm not even full. Or sometimes I'm too full. It's hard to control. I really need to start eating less. Bit by bit. I'm afraid that my diet will backfire when I eat too little and I'll totally stress eat. But then I also need to make sure I'm not eating more than 2500 a day. It's gonna be hard.

I just found out about a reality show called The Biggest Loser like 2 months ago. I know it's season 6 now but it's the first time I heard about that show. They never play in Hong Kong. But I think it's a great show. It seems too dramatic for people to work out as harsh as that. But you can learn a lot about weight loss and how to eat healthy. And I started watching this season when I started to lose weight. So it feels like those people are losing weight together with me. Of course they did so much better than me. If I lose like 2 pounds in a week I'll be psyched. It seems very unhealthy to drop like 10 pounds a week. But I'm excited to watch the show and learn more about weight loss every week.

My graduation ceremony is this Saturday. I'm so not ready for that yet. I bought so many cosmetics coz I wanna put on some makeup. But now I totally don't wanna do that. And I need to buy a pair of heels for my suit under the cap and gown. All I ever wore are T-shirt, jeans and sneakers. So I don't have any other clothes or shoes to wear. Today I have to go and see if I can buy a pair of simple heels. My feet are too thick, so it's difficult to buy any forms of heels. How come I don't wanna do graduation at all? I feel it's too troublesome and it's all standard stuff and no fun. And I feel really uncomfortable when I have to wear stuff that I don't like to wear. And taking a bunch of pictures. You know people at my school actually go to the school campus for like 3-5 times, meet different friends and take pictures all over the campus. They took like 10 pictures of the same location doing different poses and then move on to another location. All I think I will do, is to take some pictures with my family and my classmates who are graduating the same day as me. Then I'm done.

Eat less,
Ronny xx